


Oneshots | Phan

by Phandomrunners



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Barista Phil Lester, Camping, Consent, Crushes, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Piano, Safewords, Shy Dan Howell, Smut, Teasing, piano lessons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 08:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11482215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandomrunners/pseuds/Phandomrunners
Summary: A series of oneshots ranging from fluff, smut, and light angst.





	1. ;coffee and cute boys

( fluff )

Dan was tired; exhausted. His eyes were begging to be shut and his head was pounding with a headache from not getting enough sleep.

He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep out the freezing cold 6 am air that seemed to reach his body and leave goosebumps over his pale skin despite the thick sweater wrapped around him.

He took small steps as he walked to the small coffee shop on his uni campus. He did this almost every morning. He got up, hated himself for staying up so late, mentally complained as he walked to get coffee, got his coffee and walked to his first class, and then his next class and then so on. It was the same routine every day. Or at least it was until this particular day.

The cold Autumn air stabbed his exposed cheeks and made them a pink color from the cold. He pulled his beanie down over his ears as he let out a deep breath and watched his breath stain the air before disappearing.

He tucked his hands into his sweater pockets as he walked, looking out in front of him, his eyes admiring the early morning environment. 

The campus was always quiet at this time, unlike other times, and he found the mornings his favorites, besides the exhaustion and freezing cold air. 

He neared the coffee shop a bit sooner than usual as he walked inside, seeing a tall pale boy with black hair and bright blue eyes smile and greet him. 

"Hey, what can I get you?" He asked and Dan had been looking deep into those blue eyes, when he said something to him. He looked at him confused for a moment before he realized he was standing in the line of a coffee shop and mentally slapped himself.

"O-oh I um just a plain coffee please," Dan stuttered out, his tongue feeling too big in his mouth and his words coming out too rushed as he blushed and pryed his eyes off of the pretty boy's eyes in front of him, to instead look down at his wallet and pull out his money. 

He handed him a 5 and smiled shyly at him when their eyes met again. The boy smiled back. "Can I get a name?"

"I uh-- Dan, Daniel, no-- Dan," Dan stuttered as he gulped down the lump in his throat.

The boy chuckled a bit at how shy he was and nodded. Dan walked to the other side of his counter and pulled out his phone, checking the time. 6:30 am.

Dan sighed and tucked his phone back into his pocket, his eyes finding the boy as he made his drink. He noticed small writing on the left side of his shirt and he leaned in to get a better view. He had been so focused on the boy's eyes that he hadn't thought to look at the name on his apron.

The boy turned towards him and Dan's eyes ran over the writing.

'Phil'

When Phil approached him, Dan was still reading the writing. He set the drink in front of him and Dan blushed deeply as he looked back up at his eyes again. 

"T-thank you," he stuttered out, taking the drink clumsily in his hands and making his way towards one of the small tables. 

Dan sat down and sighed quietly as he buried his face in his hands, hating how shy he got when anyone talked to him.

He didn't use to be like this. Uni changed him. Suddenly he was surrounded by unfamiliar faces and teachers who wanted nothing to do with him.

He slid his beanie off and ran his fingers through his messy hair tiredly. His eyes were burning and his face heated still. He slowly dragged his eyes back to the counter to see Phil looking at him. 

His face seemed to heat up more as he locked eyes with the cute boy. Phil didn't look away, and he couldn't bring himself to either, their eyes connected for what seemed like forever.

Dan remembered the coffee in front of him and slowly blinked as he dropped his eyes from Phils to his coffee cup. He traced patterns over the lid as he bit his lip, trying to get the boy's blue eyes out of his mind. He brought the cup to his lips and drank some of the coffee out of it. He wrinkled his nose at the bitterness of it, but he knew he needed it to survive through the long day. He looked out the window of the coffee shop as he watched some orange leaves drop from one of the trees standing near the shop.

"You know, it's much better with sweetener," someone said, causing Dan's head to snap to the person in front of him, not expecting it to be Phil as his cheeks went red all over again and his throat seemed to constrict, making it hard to breathe or speak.

Phil smiled at him a bit and set his own coffee down next to Dan's. "Have you even tried it with sweetener?" He asked as he leaned in a bit, resting his elbows on the table.

Dan gulped down the lump in his throat as his eyes locked with Phils. "I-uh no I haven't actually," he said quietly, squeezing his sleeves in his fists and telling himself it was a dream and he'd wake up in a minute and this pretty boy named Phil that he met at a coffee shop was definitely not talking to him. 

Phil's eyes widened and he smiled widely at him, in both shock and excitement. "No way! You don't know what you're missing."

Dan was a bit stunned at Phils reaction and nodded slowly. "I've only ever dranken dark," he said shyly.

Phil smiled wider and slid his drink over to him on the table. When Dan shook his head, Phil shook his back. "Cmon, you have to try it at least," he begged, and Dan knew in that moment he couldn't say no to those blue eyes. 

Dan slowly brought Phils cup to his lips, fully aware the other boy had been drinking it moments ago as he took a sip out of it.

The taste was like nothing he had ever tried before. It was extremely sweet against his tongue, yet kept the amazing coffee flavor with it and Dan accidentally took a bigger drink before he remembered it was Phils, blushing shyly and handing it back to him as he wiped his mouth off with his sweater sleeve. "That's amazing," he said softly, pulling his sweater sleeves over his hands. 

"Isnt it?" Phil asked with a chuckle. He took Dan's drink from him. "Cmon, I'll do the same to yours," he said as he stood up, holding his hand out to Dan to help him up.

Dan shyly took his hand and thanked him as he stood up from his seat. He dropped Phil's hand when he stood up, not wanting to make him awkward although all he wanted to do was keep those soft fingers locked with his. 

Phil led him over to the creamers and sweeteners and Dan watched him while he threw things into Dan's drink. He wasn't worried, since Phil worked there and clearly seemed to know what he was doing.

Phil handed him the drink with a grin. "Try it," he said as he leaned against the counter.

Dan nodded and raised the drink to his lips, drinking some of it down. His eyes widened at how good it was and he smiled at Phil. "It's really good, thank you," but Phil didn't seem to be listening as his blue eyes seemed to be focused on something on Dan's face and Dan blushed deeply, raising his hand to his cheek where Phil was staring at. "What is it? Have I got something on my face?" He asked as he wiped his cheek off.

Phil shook his head with a warm smile. "Smile again?" He asked him, his eyes still focused on Dan's cheek. 

Dan furrowed his eyebrows, but nodded. He shyly smiled and Phil gasped out, poking Dan's cheek. "You have a dimple! It's so deep oh my gosh!" Phil hummed and Dan went red, his hand finding its way to his cheek as he covered his dimple.

Phil smiled at him fondly, making Dan feel weak to the knees and his stomach get butterflies in the best way possible. He couldn't bring himself to say anything as he was too busy looking into his eyes. Those blue eyes. They weren't even blue; they were a mix of blue, green, and even bits of gold seemed to mix with them.

He licked his lips and forced words out. "I--uh have to get to c-class," he said shyly, slowly walking backwards as he tried to make a complete fool of himself, which he somehow always did in front of cute boys. Actually, in front of everyone. Dan was the school flop; always fucking things up.

Phil waved goodbye at him. "I'll see soon, right?" He called after him.

Dan shrugged and nodded. "M-maybe," he said shyly, ducking his head and walking out of the coffee shop with red cheeks, this time not from the cold.


	2. ;piano lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ☆ fluff :') ☆

"Dan?" Dan heard Phil call his name from the bedroom and lifted his head from his browsing position and looked towards the direction of the bedrooms.

"Yeah?" Dan called back, his laptop hot on his thighs, burning his slightly.

"Can you come here a second?" Phil shouted slightly. Dan set his laptop down on the coffee table and made his way to the bedroom, figuring Phil was having editing problems.

He didn't expect to see Phil sitting at the piano, his fingertips sliding over the keys gently, almost looking like he was afraid of breaking them.

Dan looked at his curiously as Phil kept running his fingers over the keys. "What'd you need?" 

Phil blinked slowly, as if realizing dan was in the room, and faced towards him on the bench, a small grin on his face. He looked almost embarrassed.

"Do you think you could teach me?" He asked, his fingers toying with his jeans now. 

Dan looked at him for a few seconds, wondering why Phil would want to learn the piano. "Teach you? How to play the piano?" Dan asked, trying to keep his voice even so he wouldn't make Phil embarrassed.

"Yeah.. If that's okay?" Phil asked, his smile dropping slightly as if he were worried.

Dan smiled at him and nodded. "Of course.. But I'm not very good. I only took classes for 8 weeks."

Phil smiled back and scooted over on the bench, making enough room for Dan.

Dan sat down next to him and grinned when he felt Phil's thigh and arm press against his, sharing warmth between them.

"I-I don't know where to start," Dan admitted, his cheeks going a slight pink shade.

Phil just nodded and looked at him, as if waiting for him to do something. 

Dan cleared his throat and stretched out his fingers, thinking about all that the evil witch teacher had taught him. "I guess we'll start with the keys. You know most of them right?"

Phil nodded and named each key slowly, as if unsure. When Dan nodded after each one, Phil smiled widely. "I've been learning a little about piano. I just wanted to learn it after I heard you playing the other night."

Dan looked at him dumbstruck. "You want to learn because of me?"

Phil nodded and his cheeks went rosy. "You play amazingly and I just wanted to learn. It sounded like fun," Phil said, stuttering slightly on some words.

Dan smiled and nodded, continuing on with his lesson, teaching Phil which were the high notes, and which were the low notes, and the basics of the piano. After a while, they had moved on to learning Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Dan figuring it'd be one of the easiest to learn for Phil.

Dan's fingers moved across the keys like a feather, his fingertips seeming to barely touch the keys, yet the notes of Twinkle Twinkle rang out strong and beautiful.

Phil found himself watching Dan's face instead of his fingers, loving Dans expression when he played, a small grin on his face and his eyes almost entirely closed, a rosy blush on his pale cheeks.

Phil gulped down the lump in his throat and pulled his eyes away from Dan's face, watching his fingers again. He couldn't help shifting his gaze back to Dans face after awhile, counting the freckles on Dan's face. 

Dan looked back at Phil and Phil blushed at being caught staring and moved his eyes back to Dan's fingers again.

The song rang to an end and Phil looked at Dan again, who had a smile on his face and the blush had seemingly deepened, causing his face to go a pretty shade of red. 

Phil loved when Dan blushed. He found Dan did it quite often. Whenever he was concentrating on editing a video, or after Phil made a dirty joke. Phil loved watching Dan's face heat up as he tried to hide it with a chuckle. He was so beautiful. 

Dan's eyes met Phil's and Phil felt he could be sucked into them. The lamp next to them reflected in his eyes, making his chocolate brown eyes appear a lighter brown, caramel color and Phil wanted nothing more than to look into those eyes forever. To be with those eyes forever.

"Do you think you can try it on your own or do you want to see it again?" Dan asked gently, his voice low as he looked into Phil's eyes, smiling at him smally. 

Phil gulped down the lump in his throat and slowly pulled his eyes from Dan's, instead focusing on the keys in front of him. "Can I try it?" He asked, his fingertips brushing over each key as he thought about how Dan had played it.

Dan nodded and scooted closer to Phil, which was incredibly close on the small wooden bench. Phil had to gulp down another lump in his throat as he felt Dan's warm thigh against his, almost burning the fabric of his jeans.

He began playing it how Dan had, wincing when he hit the wrong key and messed up the song. After a third try he sat back, frustrated and embarrassed. "This is harder than I thought it'd be."

Dan nodded in understanding. "Its okay, just keep trying. It'll take a while but it'll be easier to play with more practice," he said, grinning warmly at Phil.

Phil nodded and leaned into the piano again, focusing on the keys. "Can you show me which keys I got wrong?" He asked, looking into Dan's caramel eyes once again. He could never get sick of those eyes.

"Of course," Dan said, leaning into Phil and going over the keys that Phil had missed, and explaining how to avoid them gently. Phil loved hearing Dan like this, sweet and gentle. He didn't see or hear this side of him often, but he enjoyed when he did.

Once Dan was sure Phil would do well, he helped guide Phil's hands over the keys, his hands on top of Phil's gently as he sang the notes quietly. Phil watched him the entire time, with light pink cheeks. Dan would be the death of him. 

Dan smiled and let go, their eyes meeting in a gentle embrace. "Here. Try it on your own." 

Phil nodded and focused on the keys again, sliding his hands over the keys as Dan had done, this time hitting almost all of the right keys, only messing up once or twice towards the end. 

"Good job," Dan said, a warm grin on his face, lighting up his caramel eyes and rosy cheeks and Phil swore he would do anything to be with this man forever.

"Are you ready to try something else?" Dan asked, flipping through his songs.

"N-not yet.." Phil said, and cleared his throat, controlling his breathing. "Can I keep working on this one? I want to get it perfect."

Dan nodded and flipped back to the song, watching Phil try again, his eyebrows furrowed as he focused on not hitting the wrong keys, which made him mess up and hit the wrong ones after them.

"Hey, relax. Don't concentrate so hard. Let it come to you naturally.. Feel the keys," Dan said, watching Phil physically relax and bite his lip, trying again as he moved his fingers over the keys, easily this time.

Dan smiled as Phil made it all the way through without messing up and his smile grew bigger as Phil made eye contact with him and smiled proudly. 

"I did it.." He said, clapping his hands together happily. 

Dan smiled and poked his cheek. "Nerd."

Phil pretended to be angry and mumbled back "dork."

Phil went over it once more and hit it perfectly and he smiled proudly. "I'm ready to try another one."

Dan nodded and pulled out I Love You. Phil stared at him boredly and laughed. "Really? This is for 5 year olds."

Dan laughed and shoved him gently. "Trust me. Its for little kids but it's easier to learn, and the more you know, the better you'll be at other ones."

Phil shook his head and smiled as Dan began going over the keys.

Phil would chuckle lightly when Dan would sing some of the words lightly, to "practice." 

Every time Dan said I love you Phil felt his heart swirl and break just a little bit more. Because it was a song to Phil. Not a feeling.

Dan grabbed Phils hands gently and put this on top of his. "Okay, this ones a bit harder than the other one, so really focus on the keys, okay?"

Phil nodded and watched Dan's hands over his, their fingers interlocked on top of each other. The heat of Dan's hands on top of his caused a warm feeling to spread through his body and he wanted nothing more than to hold Dan's hands like this forever.

Dan began playing the song and Phil focused on the movement of Dan's hands. He focused on the way Dan avoided some keys, and made a mental note to not hit those ones.

When Dan finished, he kept their fingers interlocked and looked at Phil, his blue eyes lit up with warmth and love and Dan wanted nothing more than to get lost in those eyes. His ocean eyes.

"Try it. Remember the notes I avoided," Dan said, letting go of his hand gently, but then closing his hand, locking the warmth of Phil inside his palm.

Phil tried this one and got it perfectly on his first try and Dan stared, amazed. "That was amazing," Dan whispered.

Phil smiled and poked Dan's dimple. "You're amazing."

Dan blushed deeply and shoved Phil, "shut up," he mumbled playfully, but Phil didn't miss the grin that landed on his pink face.

After learning a few more songs, Phil stood up and stretched, yawning tiredly. "Its pretty late I guess I better head to bed," he mumbled, running his hands through his unstraightened hair, and smiled when he saw Dans hobbit hair. 

"Yeah.. Goodnight Phil. Sleep well," Dan said, smiling at him warmly.

Phil smiled back and began walking towards the door, but stopped in his tracks. "Hey Dan, thank you. For everything." 

Dan grinned and shook his head. "It was nothing.."

Right before Phil walked out, Dan stopped him in his tracks, "wait Phil.."

"Hm?" Phil hummed, strumming his fingers on the door frame.

"I love you," Dan whispered, as if unsure if it was okay to say.

Phil blushed deeply and smiled at him. "I love you too Dan. Sleep well, okay?"

Dan blushed and nodded. "Okay.." He whispered, grinning.


	3. ;kitty ears & rainy days

☆ dan's perspective ☆  
{ fluff }

i knew it was dangerous to be out on my own. and even more dangerous to run away from my owner, but i couldn't help it. 

i seeked freedom. i seeked love. 

i needed to be okay.

i whined when it first started raining, small droplets of water hitting my straight brown hair and running down my fluffy brown ears. some dripped down the insides of my ears and made them twitch with irritation before i ducked them down onto my head.

i didn't expect the rain to get worse, but it did, and soon enough i was whimpering and whining, curled up in a small ball in the corner of an alleyway, trying my best to stay out of the cold rainpour from above.

it was a hard task, and i had to press completely against the cold brick wall to get under the small roof. 

it was cold, and i was uncomfortable, but at least i was free.

//

the happy taste of freedom died down in a matter of hours as my stomach growled angrily and my body grew tired from the cramped position. 

i slowly and hesitantly crept out from under my place against the wall and whimpered, the rain soaking me immediately.

i wasn't wearing much, just a simple tan sweater, skinny jeans, and boxers. my shoes had gotten lost during my run to safety and i winced at the rocky ground under me, the pebbles digging into my feet painfully.

i took hesitant and slow steps towards the end of the alleyway and nearly jumped out of my skin when i heard yelling, quickly looking around for a place to hide.

"that was your fault! i was always there! you were the bitch sneaking off with other people!"

i found a small box and curled up behind it, scaredly listening to the yelling.

"oh fuck off, phil! everyone knows you snuck off with people too!"

"says who? please tell me who this everyone is! i'd love to meet them!"

i looked up slowly from my place from behind the box. so, it was a girl and a guy arguing. probably about a relationship. i sighed and rested his cheek on the dirty box. i didn't understand humans and their emotions.

"that's it! we're done!"

"we should've been done a long time ago!"

"goodbye, phil."

i heard the sound of a car door slamming shut and then the sound of the car driving off and i ducked my head down again, not wanting to be seen.

i heard an annoyed grunt from the male and then the sound of a lighter, and i smelt the smoke a second later. i slowly looked up to see if the male was near, and squeaked when my brown eyes met bright blue ones. i ducked my head and began shaking scaredly, hoping the guy wouldn't bother me.

"hey, are you okay? are you lost?"

i covered my face and curled up in a ball, not saying anything. i silently begged the guy to leave me alone, but he didn't budge.

"aw you poor thing! you're all muddy. do you have a home little guy?"

it took me a moment to process that they guy was talking to me. with that sickly sweet tone. i slowly peeked my eyes out to study the guy better.

he had tattoos covering his pale arms and one on his neck. a black loop hung on his bottom lip and one around his eyebrow. a silver one hung off of his nostrils and a soft smile lied on his lips, despite his intimidating look. he also seemed to have put his cigarette out.

this guy looked like trouble.

i shook my head and curled up more, trying to make myself invisible.

"hey, hey, kitty. you don't have to be scared of me. i'd never hurt you," he said softly and i let out a weak sigh. 

"d-do y-you have f-food?" i stuttered, looking at him nervously as i chewed on my bottom lip. 

phil smiled and nodded. "at home i do. do you have a home, kitty?"

i hesitantly shook my head, chewing on my lip. was this guy really sweet like he said?

"well, i have food at home and now a free space," he laughed sadly. "you wanna go home with me?" 

i thought about his offer for a few moments. i had run away to get freedom and find love, and if i went home with this man i barely knew, it could mean big trouble, but honestly, anyone was better than my old owner. "p-please."

phil smiled brightly and stood up, holding a hand out for me to take. "what's your name, kitty?" he asked in a soft, gentle tone, making my heart flutter. 

"d-dan."

phil kept his bright smile on and motioned for me to stand up. "c'mon, kitty, the ground is yucky. lemme get you home and nice and warm. you're soaked."

i nodded and took his hand, slowly standing up and brushing myself off shyly. 

phil didn't let go of my hand as he began leading me to a small apartment complex i had passed earlier in the day. his grab on my hand wasn't mean or harsh like my old owner. it was gentle and caring.

phil led me to an apartment and opened the door, motioning for me to go inside. 

i slowly and hesitantly looked around. the apartment wasn't huge, but it was surprisingly tidy and warm, and looked almost new. 

i turned to phil with a small smile without teeth, barely a curl of my lips and he responded with a much happier smile.

"well, dan, this is my home. you're welcome to stay as long as you want. i need the company."

i nodded and looked around for food, playing with my sleeves nervously.

"oh- you must be starving. let me make you some food," phil said, walking over to his fridge and opening it. "i-i don't have much. how's cereal sound?"

i shrugged and nodded, not knowing where to sit or what to do and instead i stood and watched phil.

after a bit, phil handed me a cold bowl full of milk and cheerios and smiled. "wanna sit?" he asked and i responded with a small nod. he pulled out a kitchen chair for me and motioned for me to sit in it.

i sat and looked at him curiously as i slowly ate the cereal.

phil smiled again, his lip ring standing out against his white teeth. "so, dan. do you want to tell me how you ended up outside?"

i shook my head nervously and looked down shyly, hugging my bowl to my chest.

phil reached out and gently touched one of my ears and i looked at him frightened, ducking my ear down.

"hey- hey, it's alright. i'm not gonna hurt you. can i pet you there? are you sensitive?"

i shook my head and slowly raised my ear up, letting him pet me while i held a death grip on my spoon. i was stiff and scared, and i could tell he saw it by the hurt look on his face.

"do you not believe me?"

i shrugged and looked at him curiously. 

phil smiled a bit sadly and shrugged. "that's okay. we'll get you a bed and a room tomorrow. how about you sleep with me tonight? you look exhausted."

i nodded slowly and set my bowl of now just milk aside.

"how about you shower first though? how's that sound?"

i smiled softly and nodded thankfully. phil grinned and took my hand, leading me to a small bathroom. "controls for the shower are pretty easy. right for hot and left for cold. shampoo, conditioner, and body wash are all in there and clean towels are hanging up," he explained.

"t-thank you," i said quietly, playing with my sleeves again. phil smiled and walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

//

after i showered and got redressed, i walked into the livingroom to see phil on his phone sitting on the couch. he looked up when i walked in and he smiled sadly, shaking his head. "let's get you out of those dirty clothes," he said as he began leading me to another room.

he brought me into a small bedroom and sat me down on his bed as he walked to his closet and began looking through it.

i chewed on my lip nervously.

a few moments later, phil approached me holding a gray sweater with a bear on the pocket of it, a pair of plain black boxers, and black sweatpants. "they're the most comfortable clothes i have," he said, handing the pile to me.

i looked up at him surprised. "f-for me?" i croaked out shyly. 

phil smiled and nodded. "go ahead and change, i'll be in the livingroom," he said before leaving the room and closing the door. 

i smiled and shyly began undressing, putting on the fresh clothes after and putting my old clothes in a pile in the corner of the room. 

i took my wet tail out and began drying it off with my hands before slowly walking back out to the living room.

"m-may i sleep, p-please?" i asked softly, keeping my head ducked and my eyes down like i had been taught.

"of course. you don't care if we sleep in the same bed, do you? i don't have an extra and my couch isn't very comfy."

i shook my head to say i didn't mind and played with my tail as i waited for further instructions.

"c'mon kitty, let's get to bed," phil said softly, stroking my ears. i smiled a bit at the action and nodded. he led me to the same bedroom and held the blanket open for me. i slowly slipped into the bed and purred softly at how warm and comfy it was. it had been years since i had slept in an actual bed.

phil slid into bed after me on the other side and i gulped, closing my eyes tightly and praying he wouldn't hurt me in any way.

he didn't, and soon i heard soft snoring, meaning he had fallen asleep. 

just like that? i stared curiously at the punk boy. he had taken me in and took care of me. just like that?

i smiled and curled up on my side, nuzzling the cold pillow happily and hugging the blanket close to my chest. 

//

i woke up to a strong pair of arms holding me and i panicked, squirming and trying to escape until i realized it wasn't a threatening hold.

i looked next to me curiously.

phil was holding me.

softly.

gently.

lovingly.

i gulped and smiled softly, scooting closer to him and pressing up against his warm body.

maybe i didn't have freedom, but i had strong arms wrapped around me and a pretty boy holding me, and that made me feel pretty damn free.

maybe running away hadn't been such a bad thing after all. i let out a content sigh before falling back asleep in my new owner's warmth.


	4. ;a non love song from nashville

song; a non love song from nashville

{ fluff & angst with a sad ending }

~

dan wiped the whipped cream off of phil's nose with a giggle. "how the hell did you manage to get whipped cream on your nose?"

phil shrugged and smiled. "it's a talent, i guess."

dan rolled his eyes and lied back against phil's chest, turning his attention back to the movie on the screen in front of them as he sipped his own hot chocolate.

they were at phil's parents' house for christmas and they were currently binge watching christmas movies and sipping hot chocolate while they "waited for santa to come."

phil smiled and set his mug down, playing with dan's long fringe and watching the movie as well.

after awhile, the movie they had on finished and dan turned to phil with a bright smile. "next one!"

phil chuckled and gently moved dan off of him. "i'm gonna get some beer so i can stay up later," he explained as he stood up from the bed.

dan's smile dropped a bit, but he just shrugged. "okay, whatever floats your boat, but hurry back," he said as he lied down in the spot phil had been previously lying in.

phil nodded and walked to the kitchen. he saw his parents had gone to bed, and he shrugged, grabbing two beers for himself. alcohol had always affected him more than others and two was definitely a way to keep him up.

he made his way back to his room and walked over to the pile of christmas movies he had grabbed. he opened his beer after putting in 'Elf' and walked back to the bed, sitting next to dan and taking a sip of his beer.

dan frowned a bit at phil's beer, but curled up to him anyway, hugging his stomach and resting his head on his chest.

about halfway through the movie, phil finished his beer, hiccuping and coughing a bit already. dan sighed at the now gross smell of his breath and he ducked his head a bit to avoid the smell.

phil opened his other beer and began chugging it down as well.

by the end of the movie, phil smelt disgusting, in dan's opinion, and he sighed, scooting away.

"what's wrong with you?" phil asked bitterly, hiccuping and flashing dan a rude look.

dan was surprised and hurt by phil's rudeness. "i-i don't like beer. i've told you that before.."

phil rolled his eyes and set his empty glass down. "what's wrong, howell? can't have a little fun?" he said rudely again and dan frowned deeply.

"just because i don't like alcohol doesn't mean i don't have fun. what's gotten into you, phil?"

phil laughed bitterly and rolled his eyes again. "nothing. what's gotten into you?"

dan bit the inside of his cheek and looked down. "nothing. i just don't understand why you're acting so mean all of a sudden."

phil scoffed. "maybe i wouldn't be so mean if you weren't so annoying."

dan looked up at him in disbelief and hurt. "w-what?"

"you heard me," phil spat out. "you and your prissy 'i'm a little good boy' attitude. fuck off, will ya?"

dan felt tears fill his eyes as he stood up from the bed. "fine. if you want me to fuck off, i will. fuck you, phil," he said sadly and angrily, beginning to pack up his stuff.

phil smiled snarkily. "thank god. about time," he said as he rolled over and burped. 

dan glared at phil and tried not to cry as he put his backpack on his shoulders and slid on his socks and shoes before walking downstairs. he walked out the door and down the road to an open all day and night cafe he and phil had recently visited. 

he sat down in a booth and grabbed his phone out of his bag, dialing his mom's number. "mom?" he whimpered softly when his mom picked up the phone. "i think you need to come pick me up," he choked out, tears running down his cheeks.

~ 1 year later ~

phil had been searching through his facebook to catch up with old friends when he saw a very familiar face.

daniel howell.

dan's facebook was unprivated, and in his profile picture, he stood with his arms wrapped tightly around another guy, a smile so big on his face his dimples popped out and the area around his eyes crinkled.

phil let out a sad sigh as he scrolled down the profile, seeing pictures of dan with a dog and another guy. he looked happier than he had ever been with phil. 

he had grown a lot in one year and his hair had been cut shorter. he still wore the same smile and bright eyes, and it killed phil how happy he looked.

one night.

one bad, bad night, and phil had lost the person he loved most. he tried making it up to dan, but dan didn't budge, just repeating how he was done with phil and "all of his bullshit."

now phil was sat on his dorm bed, fighting back painful sadness as he looked at the happy boy on his screen.

he was just a memory now.


	5. ;speechless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Divergent Au where Phil and Dan are both in Dauntless and Phil is mute. :) Cute fluffiness

"Philip Lester!"

Phil's heart pounded against his chest, the ringing silence of the room making his head hurt and his mouth go dry.

This was it. This was the day he chose where he belonged. Where he had the power over his own life. Where he got to decide who he was. Where he went.

Maybe the test technically did that all for them, but Phil didn't see it that way. He liked to live in the moment. He liked to accept that this -- this moment, decided his future.

He did.  
With his own power.

He slowly rose out of his seat and the people sitting next to him scrunched up against theirs to make room for him to walk past.

As he was about to take a step forward, he felt a gentle, warm, almost fragile touch on his hand and he looked down to see his mother holding it, her yellow dress shining against her pale skin, her long ginger hair pulled up into a soft, yet messy bun atop of her head. 

She spoke two simple words. Two more words than she had said in over a year.

"Choose wisely."

Phil nodded at his mother and patted her hand, before beginning to walk down to the bowls alay a long table. He walked to them slowly, not necessarily in a rush to decide his entire future.

When he got to them, he looked down at the things in the bowls, a lump in his throat.

Gray stones - Abnegation. Did he want to be selfless?

Water - Erudite. Did he want to be wise?

Soil - Amity. Did he want to be kind?

Glass - Candor. Did he want to be honest?

Or finally, Lit coals - Dauntless. Did he want to be brave?

He picked up the knife that laid on the table slowly, looking over his options. 

"Now, now, boy, we don't have all day," he heard someone whisper, but he paid them no attention.

This was a decision that took time, patience, and quietness. As most of Phil's actions did.

He slowly slid the knife into his palm, wincing a bit at the small cut as droplets of blood began to form on it. He held the droplets back as he looked over his choices once more.

This was it. His future. Where he belonged. Where could a mute boy possibly be happiest?

Amity. It was his faction now. Kind, happy, warm, loving, accepting. 

But, Phil was tired of it. He wanted action. He wanted power. He wanted bravy. 

He lifted his palm up over the lit coals in one of the bowls and watched as his blood dripped down his palm and into the bowl of coals.

"Dauntless!"

~

He knew nobody would've expected it. A soft, quiet Amity boy joining Dauntless. It was unheard of, but Phil lived for the thrill of all of it. The smile that grew on his face at all of the energetic and encouraging welcomes of the Dauntless people and the strong claps on the back.

He lived for the gasps and the shocked and confused looks. ( Those almost making him giggle a bit. Almost. )

He lived for the excitement and the breathtaking and slightly painful experience of running and jumping on a moving train.

He lived for the people yelling and cheering for all of the newcomers. He lived for this new experience.

He lived for it all.

He was just starting to get comfy on his spot on the floor on the train when someone in a black and white button up shirt and black skinny jeans sat next to him, startling him. 

He eyed over the boy's face curiously, his mind trying to process the situation. The boy had slightly tanned skin and a deep dimple with the encouraging and friendly smile he had plastered on his face, his brown hair a slight mess of curls on his head.

"Hi, I'm Dan. Nice to meet you."

~

It had taken a very long time for Dan to realize that Phil was mute and the process had been incredibly difficult and embarrassing. It surely wasn't the first time something like that had happened, but Dan was a Candor -- or more so, had been, and that boy never seemed to shut up, yapping on and on about how much he had hated his faction.

Phil had listened, slightly amused. He was mute, but he wasn't rude. 

When Dan realized Phil wasn't reacting at all besides looking at him, he had grown worried and had questioned Phil over and over if he was okay or sick. 

Finally, when Dan seemed to realize the situation, he calmed down, but surprisingly, didn't grow awkward or scurry away from Phil like most people did before.

Instead, he spoke in soft, gentle words. "That's okay. I won't judge you."

It wasn't a surprise when Dan didn't know sign language, but luckily someone sitting next to them did, translating Phil's name for Dan.

Dan nodded and kept asking Phil questions, which Phil shyly signed out, the boy with curly hair and green eyes with a blue suit translating them for Dan.

"So, what's your name?" Dan asked the boy sitting next to Phil with a welcoming grin. 

"I'm PJ."

~

"Phil! You did so good! I didn't think you had it in you!" Dan said excitedly, pulling Phil into a big hug.

Phil blushed and smiled nervously, biting his lip. PJ walked up beside them, which Phil was incredibly thankful for. He turned to PJ and signed out: "It was scary. I was just mad. Had to beat him. Had to stay."

PJ translated it for Dan and Dan grinned wider. "Beating Jake Paul! That was so unexpected, Phil! You've got strength on you!"

Phil blushed at the slight compliment/slight insult and he offered Dan a small smile. He turned to PJ, signing: "Carried dirt in bags most of my life. Also gardening is a lot of work."

PJ translated it to Dan and Dan broke out into a fit of giggles, clapping Phil on the back. PJ smiled and nodded. "It really was incredible. Fascinating."

"Come on, let's go get ready for dinner," Dan offered, holding onto Phil's arm protectively.

Phil loved that Dan cared so much about him, knowing Dan despised people that judged him for being mute. Dan made him feel welcomed. Feel loved. He lived for Dan's affection.

~

"Chris Kendall, is it?" Eric asked, slowly walking next to Chris and stopping beside him, watching as Chris froze. 

"Y-Yes, sir. That's me," Chris stuttered out, his cheeks going pink.

"Ah yes. Erudite, was it?" Eric asked, looking down at Chris and crossing his arms. "What made you think you'd make it here? The tests? Because judging on your knife throwing, it wasn't your strength or skill."

Chris went a dark red and a look of embarrassment, horror, and shame filled his face, a hint of anger causing his brows to furrow some. "I-I'm trying my best, sir," he managed out, his voice shaky.

Eric laughed pitifully and looked up at Chris' unmarked target before looking back at Chris. "Throw. I want you to hit the target at least. This is pathetic."

Chris nodded and let out a small exhale of breath, grabbing a knife and holding it shakily. He leaned his arm back before throwing the knife, watching it bounce off of the target and land on the floor, not even marking the target.

Eric barked out a sharp laughter and shook his head disapprovingly. "Pathetic. Like a weak injured animal. Go get it," he demanded, nodding towards the knife on the floor, some people around them listening, but most people continuing to throw their own knives at the targets.

"W-What? I-I can't do that," Chris stuttered out nervously, his body shaking and fear in his eyes.

"Come on, do it. You don't want to be factionless, do you?" Eric snapped, moving closer to Chris. "Do it."

Chris nodded slowly and ducked his head as he slowly was about to walk in front of the target. 

"No!" PJ yelled out, shaking his head, causing both Chris and Eric to look at him in surprise, Eric more in amusement. "He shouldn't have to do that. It's wrong. It's -- it's useless," he finished, pushing up his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"Ah -- a brave one, I see?" Eric smirked, motioning for Chris to come back and stand beside himself. "PJ Liguori, is it?"

PJ nodded and stood up straighter. "Yes. That is me."

Eric looked at him amused and smirked. "Alright, tough guy. Since you're so bold, why don't you do it?" He commanded, causing PJ's mouth to fall open, before clamping shut. He offered a brave nod and walked in front of the target, looking straight at Eric.

Eric chuckled and picked up a knife, ghosting his breath on it and wiping it down before bringing his arm back and looking back at PJ.

As Eric stepped forward with one foot, he let the knife fly, stabbing into the target right on the right side of PJ's face. PJ let out a breath of surprise and slight panic, but didn't flinch, not wanting to look weak. Eric threw three more knives before turning to another one of the Dauntless leaders. "Should I give him a little trim?" He chuckled, a smug smirk on his lips.

The other leader nodded and smirked back. "Maybe a little off the side."

Eric looked at PJ sharply, eyeing him down, before letting the knife in his hand go, throwing it at the side of PJ's head. The knife sliced across PJ's ear and cut him a bit, the cut not too deep, but enough to make him bleed.

"Points for guts, initiate, but not as much as I'm taking off for opening your mouth," Eric said, smirking before clapping his hands together. "Practice dismissed."

Everyone began gathering their knives as PJ held his ear in shock, blood staining his hand. He looked down at it before looking up again, meeting soft hazel eyes and a boy with a shy and thankfup smile. 

"Thank you," Chris said softly, giving PJ a small wave before beginning to help gather the knives.

PJ felt his heart flutter in his chest, but brushed the feeling off, smiling and help pick up knives as well.

~

Phil sat down next to Dan on his bed with a small smile, signing out: "I'm tired. That was hard."

Dan nodded in agreement, having been studying sign language with PJ and getting a lot of words down. "Agreed. Although I'd say I'm pretty good. Not like knife throwing is any help in wrestling matches, though," he sighed softly.

Phil reached out and rested his hand on Dan's knee before signing out: "I think you're great."

Dan grinned shyly and blushed. "Thanks, Phil. That means a lot."

Phil smiled back and nodded, signing out: "You're welcome."

Dan leaned his head against Phil's shoulder and looked around the nearly empty room. "Was this a good idea, Phil? All of this? Dauntless? Do I even belong here? It doesn't feel like it."

Phil looked down at Dan sympathetically and wrapped an arm around him a bit awkwardly, not knowing what to sign out.

Dan sighed and closed his eyes, lacing his fingers with Phils, causing the other boy to look at him a bit startled.

Dan looked back at Phil and chuckled a bit. "You know, I'm near being factionless. A little hand holding shouldn't be much of an issue," he said a bit sadly, stroking Phil's knuckles.

Phil sighed sadly and nodded slowly, giving Dan's hand a reassuring squeeze.

Dan leaned his head back on Phil's shoulder and looked out in the distance, listening to Phil's slow breaths.

After awhile, Phil finally worked up the nerve to do something he hadn't done in two years.

He slowly moved Dan's head off of his shoulder and instead made the other boy look at him. He swallowed thickly before slowly opening his mouth, Dan watching, shocked. 

"You'll be okay," Phil managed to get out after a few shaky breaths, the words a bit husky and wavering from nerves and Phil not speaking for so long. "You'll make it in," he added on slowly.

Dan gasped at the words before breaking out into a wide grin, throwing his arms around Phil and pulling him into a loving hug. Phil happily hugged him back, a shy smile finding his once again closed lips.

"Phil, that was amazing. Your voice is beautiful," Dan gushed, squeezing Phil and causing the other boy to wheeze playfully. Dan grinned and eased his grip on Phil as he buried his face in his neck. "I'm so proud of you."

Phil smiled softly, one hand moving up and tangling in Dan's curls gently. "Thank you," he said softly.

~

This was it. This was the moment when the charts showed who stayed and who left Dauntless. Who would live their life bravely and who would live their life lost.

Phil's breath hitched as he read over the first chart, the males. 

Number 1:Mark Fischbach  
Number 2: Shane Dawson  
Number 3: Sean McLoughlin  
Number 4: PJ Liguori  
Number 5: David Dobrik  
Number 6: Philip Lester  
Number 7: Thomas Sanders  
Number 8: Ryland Adams  
Number 9: Chris Kendall  
Number 10: Daniel Howell

He decided to freak out about Dan and himself making it in after reading the girls as well.

Number 1: Gabrielle Hanna  
Number 2: Lilly Singh  
Number 3: Signe Hansen  
Number 4: Louise Pentland  
Number 5: Amy Nelson  
Number 6: Elizabeth Koshy  
Number 7: Dorothy Clark  
Number 8: Hannah Hart  
Number 9: Grace Helbig  
Number 10: Jenna Marbles

[Lets be honest, some of those people were just too precious to be in Dauntless, but let's pretend for the story]

After reading through all the names, Phil looked at Dan excitedly, a wide smile on his face. "You did it," he said excitedly, his voice still slightly shaky. 

Dan giggled and jumped forward, tackling Phil in a hug. "I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. Thank you so much, Phil," he smiled widely, squeezing Phil.

Phil let out a quiet laugh at the hug and hugged Dan back tightly. "You're welcome," he whispered out, before feeling two more pairs of arms thrown around them. 

"Group hug!" Chris said happily, laughing a bit and smiling as he hugged Dan, Phil, and PJ.

PJ nodded and pulled away after a tight hug. "We did it. All of us. We're Dauntless."

Phil looked at Dan breathlessly when they all pulled away, a wide smile on his face. He raised his hands up and signed out:

"We've got this. We did it."

Dan giggled and nodded, pulling Phil into another separate hug. 

"We did it, Phil. We made it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaa omg this is the longest fic i've ever written by myself and I started it at 3 am and it's currently 5 am whoop whoop. what's sleep?
> 
> anyways, i like this fic so damn much and i hope you guys liked the little kickthestickz and fantastic foursome stuff i threw in there. i miss them all together :'(
> 
> thank you for reading, and i hope you guys liked it!! :•)


	6. ;lovely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a sonfic to lovely by twenty one pilots :')

[ it starts out sad, but it'll get happier i promise. ]

to phil: "i can't fucking do this anymore phil! i want to move out!!!! i want out!!! i fucking hate everyone here they all treat me like such shit!!!" 

from phil: dan love what's wrong? are you okay? what happened?

to phil: no i'm not fucking okay!! i hate it here! i hate it i hate it i hate it!!!"

from phil: "i'm on my way. pack a bag. i'll be there in five minutes. i love you. stay strong."

dan threw his phone down and furiously wiped his tears off with the back of his hands, sniffling and pulling his knees up to his chest. he was so done. so done with his family and the way they threw him around like he was a piece of shit and the way nobody seemed to think he had feelings like everyone else.

he sobbed out and wiped off more tears that had slid out of his eyes as he got off of his bed and stumbled his way to his closet, needing to get away as soon as possible.

he felt like he could hardly breathe. he felt like he was trapped in a small space and he was being squeezed and squeezed until he exploded and gave everyone what they wanted and just died.

it really was no surprise what had happened. it had become a constant thing nowadays. his family had treated him like shit and acted disgusted and disapproving of the fact that he was gay. he was so done with everyone. he needed phil. he needed to get away.

he began throwing clothes into an empty backpack furiously, not letting himself cry anymore. he had cried enough already because of his shit family. 

after a few moments about thinking about his decisison, he began repacking more carefully, packing things he'd actually wear. he didn't know how long he'd be with phil, but he figured he might as well pack for a week just in case.

he got a variety of clothes packed and grabbed his notebook and pencils, sticking them into his bag as well along with his deodorant.

he walked to his bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, sticking them in his bag as well with his straighteners and decided that was enough for now.

after he was finished cramming his bag, he slid on his black socks and black and white converse before putting his bag on his shoulders and beginning to walk to his house door.

nobody in his family stopped him, or said anything as he walked past, which wasn't a surprise. he had done this a lot. escape with phil for sometimes up to a week or two before returning home, not receiving a lecture or a damn from anyone. he was pretty sure he could move in with phil and nobody would give two shits.

he sighed as he finally made it outside, closing the door behind himself and sitting down on the cold steps of his porch. it was freezing out and his warm breath was staining the cold air gray and his short sleeved shirt and sweatpants didn't do much to keep out the cold, but he didn't feel like going back inside and grabbing a jacket. at this point, he never wanted to see inside of his house again.

when he saw phil's car pull up, he smiled widely and immediately got up from his spot on the steps and ran over to phil's car, even though exercise wasn't his thing and running was a pain. he was just eager to get away.

he immediately slid into the passengers seat and put his bag at his feet, pulling phil into a hug and letting out a relieved sigh of comfort and ease. "oh my god. i'm so happy to see you. you have no idea. you're my hero," he breathed out, nuzzling his face into phil's neck and hugging him as close as they could get with them both sitting in seats. 

phil immediately hugged dan back, a gentle smile on his face. "i'm happy to see you too. i've missed you, bear," he said softly, pressing a kiss to dan's shoulder.

dan shivered and smiled, pulling away only to peck phil's lips softly. "we need to get away. like right now. can we go back to your dorm?" he asked hopefully, pulling away more and buckling up.

phil gave dan a gentle smile and nodded. "of course. are you hungry? we can stop for food if you want," he said, beginning to drive away from dan's house.

dan shook his head and let out another relieved breath as he watched his house slowly disappear as phil drove on. he rolled his window down and stuck his head out of it, breathing in the fresh, but cold air. 

he stayed like that for a little, the music on the radio softly going and phil's humming joining it next to him. eventually the air became too cold and he was shivering a bit, regretting not grabbing a jacket. 

"do you have a jacket in here?" dan asked, rubbing his arms and looking around, which phil nodded to. "yeah. it should be on the floor in the back. i think it's my uni hoodie."

dan smiled and reached back, finding phil's green uni hoodie on the floor and immediately grabbing it, shoving it on and breathing in the smell of phil on it. "thank you," he said softly, sticking his head out of the window again and resting his head on his arms, listening to the music and the sound of cars driving by.

phil waited awhile before speaking up, clearing his throat to get dan's attention. "same thing as usual?" he asked softly, knowing dan would understand what he meant.

dan nodded and sighed sadly. "always. it always is the same thing."

phil reached over and laced his fingers with dans, squeezing his hand softly and driving with his other hand. "you know they're just lying, right? you know that you're perfect?"

dan chuckled sadly and shook his head. "no. they aren't lying. they never are. there's too many of them to all think the same thing. the truth is that they're right. i'm disgusting and horrible and--" he felt himself tearing up again and shook his head, not wanting to go on. 

"they're not. believe me, dan. you're amazing and beautiful and lovely and the best damn thing that has ever happened to me," phil shot back immediately, his tone still gentle so he wouldn't scare dan or make him anymore upset.

dan felt his lips curl up into a small smile and he blushed, looking down at phil's fingers in his shyly. "'m not," he hummed back, stroking over the top of phil's hand with his own.

"you are. i promise. have i ever lied to you, dan?" phil asked, risking a glance over at dan before looking back at the road ahead of him. 

dan shook his head. "no," he said softly, smiling a bit more and biting the insides of his cheeks.

"then i wouldn't do that now, bear," phil said reassuringly, giving dan's hand a light squeeze, the action sending a shiver through dan's body and making him blush more as he played with the sleeves of phil's hoodie on himself.

"mm i dunno. sounds like lies," dan shrugged, looking out the window again and watching the sunset in the distance. 

"that's just your mind," phil stroked dan's knuckles and looked over at him again, seeing the sun light up the side of dan's face and his slowly curling hair, his lips curling up into a small smile at the sight. "because every word i said was the truth and you're breathtaking and lovely in everyway, dan. and i'm determined to convince you that," he said, looking back at the road after.

dan looked over at phil and bit his lip, smiling and chuckling quietly. "yeah? that's your goal? don't most people have goals like 'getting on the honor roll' and 'getting into uni'? why make such a weird goal for someone as useless as me?"

dan was surprised when phil pulled over onto the side of the road, immediately thinking something was wrong or he had upset phil somehow. "what? phil what are you doi--" he was cut off by a pair of soft lips attacking his, his brown eyes widening before he slowly closed them and relaxed into the kiss, kissing phil back and resting his hands on his chest.

phil cupped dan's cheeks and kissed him passionately and lovingly, trying to show dan how much he meant to him with his lips. he could still hear cars driving past his and the setting sun was bright in their faces, but everything was absolutely perfect to phil. everything always was when he was with dan. dan was perfect.

after a few moments of their lips working together, phil slowly pulled away and rested his forehead against dans. "daniel james howell, you're the best thing that's ever existed and the best thing that i have ever had in my life and you are useless in no way," he whispered softly, the wind from dan's window being open making dan's slight curls brush against phil's forehead.

dan took a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around phil's neck. "do you mean that?" he whispered back, scared to open his eyes.

phil nodded, his forehead lighting bumping against dans. "absolutely. you have no idea."

dan smiled a bit and leaned in, kissing phil again and stroking the back of his neck and the small hairs on it, feeling warm and bubbly from phil's words and lips.

soon they were broken apart again and dan was resting his head on phil's shoulder, his eyes looking out the window and watching the sun finally make it's way down where he couldn't see it anymore.

"it'll take awhile," he suddenly whispered out, the thought making his stomach turn.

"what will?" phil whispered back, holding dan's hand again and lacing their fingers together firmly. 

"the sun returning..." he took a deep breath before continuing on. "you convincing me. convincing me that i'm really okay. that i'm everything you say i am."

phil nodded a bit and kissed the top of dan's head, his soft curls brushing against his lips. 

"maybe. but that doesn't mean i would give up for one damn second. because no matter what, i will always stand by those words and i love you, dan. i'll try my hardest. i will make you believe that you are lovely. i promise."

dan's heart fluttered and he looked up at phil with a soft smile. "promise?" he asked, sticking out his pinky at phil.

phil grinned and locked his pinky around dans, squeezing it softly. "absolutely."


End file.
